Sunday, November 14, 2010

Reworking A Specific Motif

Haiku:
Must spring time fade?
Then cry all the birds and fishes
Cold pale eyes pour tears

Must spring time fade?

 
Cold pale eyes pour tears

I have my three final marks pinned down and ready to go, however, I am not completely satisfied with motif #2. I've created a new motif to go with this line that i feel better about, but I would like some additional feedback.


The line is: Then cry all the birds and fishes


Approved mark
New Marks

 

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